... I love cycling, I love the Gateway Trail. This video, not so much.

I agree with Alex. The scenery shots were excellent and left me wanting to see more of the trail. That's why having so many cuts, shots of the ground, and washed-out shots were disconcerting. The music was nice.

well, i can see what you're saying but i have to come to Deborah's artistic defense. i think the editing is great and this is a lot more interesting and impressionistic (?) than a simple tour of the trail. i imagine a shortened version of this would work as a bike shop commercial or even a film festival trailer.

my challenge to you -- well, if you're local! -- make the bike video you'd like to see when the weather warms up. i'll gladly run it, and link to this one for comparison.

That's always the challenge made to a critic, "Could you have done better?" Of course, as in most critics' cases, the answer is, "No, I don't have the skills or experience." The original draft of my comment was prefaced with such a statement, but I edited it out; probably, I should have left it in. I'm also outside your geographic scope, i.e., I'm in Virginia.

My earlier comment clearly reflects my preferences and prejudices. In moving art, I like a standard, straight narrative. By contrast, in static art, I prefer impressionism and
abstraction. Go figure. Not bad, not good, just preferences.

Really liked the point-of-view images used and getting the "feel" of the trail rather than a traveloque, as other reviewers seemed to want. Abstract images and music nicely combined. Would be cool to see in different seasons or times of day.

i didn't expect so much conversation from this video. it's great!

Oh Great Stone Face -- indeed. by all means criticize away, and of course we all have our own aesthetic preferences. i tend to wear my supportive/nurturing hat here, and encourage people to make media.

Thanks to all of you who have made comments. They're all valid and valuable. If you didn't like the piece, no problem. If you tell me why, then I can learn something. This is my first video, so feedback is important. I think Chuck would agree that when you see the piece on a larger screen, say a TV, it's a little easier to "read." The pace seems somewhat slower and the edits work to keep it moving. In the first version I showed people, there were not as many cuts, and I could see people's attention wandering--even within those two minutes. Their advice to me was to cut it more. So there you go. As Chuck says, criticize away. I'm honored when someone takes the time to comment, no matter what the comment is.

Great artistic work. You captured Minnesota in the summer very well. The editing at the end was superb.

I really liked this movie; perfect music for the film.
I always love it when a movie is made from clips that "most sensible people would toss in the trim bin", layer a good track over it, and come out with something so abstract, free, and unique.
Keep 'em coming Deb.

The audio/visual equivalent of a tossed salad. Interesting, invigorating and full of movement. Nice balance of music and video.

I want summer!

I loved your movie. Keep it up.

starfire**

Nice re"cycled" material brought to good use. :)

I found this video engaging from beginning to end. The visuals are beautiful and the editing with the music is very effective.

I hadn't revisited this thread since I left my original (and admittedly not very helpful) comment; I didn't expect there to be so much discussion.

I realize the piece isn't necessarily "about" cycling or the Gateway Trail, my comment was intended to indicate that very fact -- that though I particularly enjoy the surface-level subject matter of the video, it was sort of negated by the aesthetics *for me.*

Specifically, the music signaled to me that there was going to be a development in "plot" if you could call it that (the harp-ish tones in the beginning), but the film continued with more of the same after that first shot of the sun (though I liked the sideways shot of the foliage). Trail shot, sun shot, speed, shadows / Trail shot, sun shot, speed, shadows... etc. I didn't get a sense of progression but rather repetition. And perhaps it's because I'm so familiar with this particular trail that this film didn't appeal to me: there is a feeling of transport / transformation for me when I start at the beginning of the trail in St. Paul and end up near Stillwater. The Gateway Trail has the feeling of a kind of dimensional warp because it goes from city to country so quickly, and the feeling I got from this film was something akin to riding in circles and an inability to escape.

You'll have to forgive me for not knowing the lingo of film criticism -- and I hope this is helpful and not discouraging. To some degree of course I'm probably talking out of my arse (aren't we all?).

I'll get to work on some cycling footage in the summer and then y'all can bring the hammer down on me too. ;)

Sorry to be a negative nelly from the get-go.

Okay, Alex, I think the only way to settle this is to drag race our bikes on the Gateway Trail. Just kidding. You made an excellent point about the foreshadowing of something magical with the harp-like music at the beginning. I tried to have a bit of a narrative thread as I cut the piece to the music. However, it didn't occur to me to let the music dictate to some extent what the narrative should be. Great point. As this little piece was only me trying to get some experience shooting so I could help my boyfriend (an honest-to-goodness real filmmaker) shoot HIS bike movie, I didn't think too deeply about it. I will definitely remember your comment, however. Hopefully it will make my next piece, whatever that is, better.

See ya on the Gateway Trail. This time you'll be the one with the video camera.

Deborah